True Life: I'm Not Afraid of Dying


I'll be the first to admit I don't always make the smartest decisions. I tell everyone who has voiced their concern for my safety in the wild that if that's how I go, it'll make for a great obituary. But the honest truth is this: the end doesn't scare me.

In my short time on this earth I've experienced and witnessed so many things...

I've made eye contact with a wolf in the wild.

I've flown a Cessna 172 with without anyone else in the cockpit.

I've watched my Mom beat cancer twice.

I've swam under waterfalls and skinny-dipped in glacial lakes.

I've been a bride and a divorcee.

I've purchased a home and watched it go to auction before I was ready to say goodbye.

I've jumped out of an airplane at 13,000 feet.

I've summited a mountain with my dad.

I've stood in front of a crowd of 8,000 people with all eyes on me.

I've thrown out the first pitch at a baseball game.

I've witnessed the love in my Grandpa's eyes the last time he recognized me and I kissed his cheek one last time before I said goodbye.

I've watched stars fade into sunrise from the comforts of my tent as an elk bugled my wake-up call.

I've had my heart broken. Time and time again.

I've found sobriety.

I've sat in a claw-foot tub warmed by fire under a fuchsia sky in the snow.

I've survived sexual assault.

I've sang on stage with my favorite artist.

I've witnessed my pup chase seagulls and dodge ocean waves on sand covered coastlines.

I've sold everything I owned and left all that was familiar for a new life 1,400 miles away from home in the desert.

I've met my favorite author and held her hands as she watched me cry tears of gratitude.

I've inspired others to be the best version of themselves and watched in absolute awe as they conquered their demons and captured their dreams.

I've lived a life I can be proud of. One that is filled with joy and trauma and laughter and heartache. One that leaves a story worth telling.

So no, I'm not afraid. If tomorrow doesn't come it's because I've accomplished what I was placed on this earth to do. And I'll leave it with a overflowing heart.

xoxo, SJ