Sex is supposed to be fun, right? But for a lot of people, it can leave them feeling stressed and anxious instead. British sex expertTracey Coxsays worrying about sex is common for all genders and it’s on the rise. So how do we get out of our heads so we can enjoy ourselves in bed again?She breaks down the top sex fears for women and how to overcome them.
- Catching an STD or getting pregnant- Since we’re the ones who can get pregnant, it makes sense that this is the biggest concern for women, but there’s an easy fix - birth control. Using a condom is the best protection against sexually transmitted infections and diseases and being safe each and every time protects you from getting pregnant, too.
- Body insecurities- Cox explains that women often feel the need to conform to society’s idea of the “perfect” body, which is not realistic for most women. Just the act of taking clothes off is enough to send some women into stress mode, which makes it hard to get to the pleasure part. So this sexpert advises closing your eyes, staying in the moment and focusing on what feels good, instead of getting distracted by what you look like.
- Being judged by a partner- Beyond being worried about what a partner thinks of their body, Cox says many women also worry about being judged for their skills in bed. She says men tend to fear being “bad” in bed, but women often fear if they’re too good, they’ll be seen as too experienced or liking sex too much. And if a partner ever does make a negative comment about that, she suggests looking them straight in the eye and saying, “Why are you threatened by me enjoying myself? Is it because you don’t think you’re a very good lover?” And that should stop them in their tracks.
- Not having an orgasm- Lots of factors affect whether or not you will, including how comfortable you are, what’s happening in your life and even how much you’ve had to drink. Not reaching the big O doesn’t mean you didn’t enjoy sex, but speaking up about what works for you can help make sure you do.